everythings new

its nine seventeen in the a.m. things are not the same.............and yet they are. its my fist morning in my new house. i say house, because right now thats all this place feels like. we bought this place and spent our summer fixing it up. then it was "lets go down to the house" now its home?? i feel disoriented and misplaced. i feel diSShElVEd! its my dream house and last night i found myself saying "did we make the right choice?" part of me is feeling crazy for buying a house downtown. its not the house im questioning,its the freeks walking outside that are getting to me. oh, and having my brother inlaw say "SOMEONE GOT SHOT BY HERE LAST NIGHT" doesn't freeking help. we were watching a beaus pick "boy" movie when my paranoia set in. (Yes dudes, i have paranoia) i kept checking on arden and checking the locks on the front door. this place has a million windows and no window treatments yet, so i could see every single person that walked by. its like a damn crazy parade!! you wanna see crazy in action, come look out my window. lemme see....theres nightgown walker lady. passes our house at least 4 times. handicapped slur walk with a` pool stick that i mistake for a rifle. the mexicans on a beer run with an eight year old. wheel chair and obesity on a stick, stuck in the sidewalk rivets. All this and our new but nice neighbor brings us a sixer of country club malt liquor as a house warming gift. I HAVE FREEKING BEER IN MY FRIDGE!! i woke up with ardens legs in my ribs begging for "nurney" (i'll explain that later) and thinking "im gunna get online and figure out a good recipe that involves cooking with beer." So thats whats up. here i am. godda iron my church clothes. ardee needa a bath. i think i need a fire hose. beau too. we stink and our house is in shambles. on A POSITIVE NOTE!! i love my front porch,i love my old milk door, i love my vintage windows and the crazy blue bathtub, i love the black hardwood and my new chair. i love this place and yet i hate it. wish me luck, im freeking out here.