Tonight i will use this

its my cookbook

i love it

got it for 50 cents

happy new year!

bringing it in with twinkie kabobs

what else??

what will i put on them

besides twinkies of corce....

lemme see...

marshmellows

cherries

pineapple

and love

always love

is it sad that this is

the only real cookbook

that i use?

its snowing outside
i am eating jellybeans
all except the black ones
i have a cold sore the size of minniapolas on my lip
i cant spell minniapolas
and thats ok
because i have never been there
listened to coheed and cambria all the way to work today
i almost slid off the road
all i could think of was if i died in a car wreck would coheed and cambria still be playing on my radio?
when the cops pulled my body out of the car, this would be the background music to my death
i think im reading to much poe...
except that....i always do this
i am morbid
yes thank you very much i know
i am weird
if anyone likes the black ones,come over and you can have them
they are just sitting here all sad because i refuse to eat them
white is gross too
take them also

i think you need to know that i love this man...eDgAr aLlAn pOe...his words are hauntingly beautyful...and creepy and perfeCt. my dear friend gave me this book as a gift today...and it will go down in history as one of the best gifts i have ever recieved. the best part of recieving a book? the inscription left by the givee...i have a few of these in books from the past that absolutely haunt me.

and that my friends brings me to another poe that i love. yep miss angry jonny herself...her music fuels my painting fire like nothing else....wanna see me go nuts on a canvas?-ill be listening to poe.

LOVE + TOAST

If you were to give me a hug today, this is what i'd smell like.
put your head cloce to the screen and sniff......
not getting anything?! sorry.
let me describe it for you....its like the day the sugar cookie maried a flower in my moms garden and i was the brides maid.
its like the drive on the freeway in the sunset the day i married beau. i had a blue snow cone in my hand,my white fluffy dress all around me,and a smile. his face was all i could see. travis was playing on the radio.
this purfume....is me on my bycycle downtown with sandals on my feet and a cherry loli pop sucker in my mouth,the sun is shining and the world is bright.
if i could, i would wrap this scent in a box and then give it to my daughters daughters...just so they could know the smell of pure happiness...the way i do today.
im in love with today for no real reason at all.

my little pin up chick

painted her on the back of a cerial box. great value bran never looked so good.

she lives on my bathroom wall.

rice

making rice bags for christmas.havent bought one thing...unless a 20lb bag of rice counts? im getting better, had a few spills, one or two meltdowns, but other then that im loving sewing. just me and a little needle and a piece of thread. 

dollar store sewing kit and my one true love

merry christmas

enjoy the rice in your bed and my crookid stitches...

Painted these for miss babies room, and i finally hung them up this week. i also made a frog on a unicycle balancing a cake, and a mouse and a duck with umbrellas. need to find more frames and get them up. they were fun to do, and only took one nap time to make.

ps: kitty looks wEiRd because my my camera hates me and is the devil...maby because i drop it every day.

Tis the season for UGLY sweaters

Bought some nasty, probably flee ridden, second hand sweaters. glued some crap on them, sewed a little too....
Had a feast...turky, ham, mac n chees, potatoes...and  a bunch of other delish foods. Then, we celebrated with friends....in ugly sweater magnificence. it was fantastic, guess you could say i got what i wanted for christmas this year.
-loved that scott and anna didnt wash the sweaters they bought and scott was itchy the entire night
-loved that the snowman on mine got heavy,and kept getting crap on it because it was huge!
-loved the question game and peeing our pants laughing so hard
-green jello...enough said
-loved pranking my mom with the pizza guy because linking phone calls is amazing

-love my new multicolored,handmade,framed picture of a gingerbread house.

TIP TOE ALL THE WAY TO IDAHO

painted her in 2003 on the break of 2004....it was a rough winter. one of the roughest ive ever experienced in my 26 years. i slept all day and worked all night. i was comming off a seven month summer...the seasons were all messed up. it was a time of growth for me.

FABULOUS
I FOUND THIS BOOK
AND IT MAKES ME PEE MY PANTIES
AMY SEDARIS IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND
HOW I FOUND THIS LITTLE TREASURE BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS IS A MIRICALE
WHEN I READ THIS BOOK ON ENTERTAINING I HAVE TEARS OF JOY RUNNING DOWN MY LIL CHEEKS
READ IT, IF YOU HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR IT WILL MAKE YOU SO HAPPY

HeLLo kitty

Arden betty

my baby is three! three years old, and im in shock. in my mind i have been re-living the moments and the events from her birth.here are a few things that i will share.
-eating steak the night before i went in to be induced...i looked and felt like crap, but savored every last bite.
-contracting in my room for days, counting minutes between them
-watching pbs in the dark and screaming during the contractions:)
-eating lime ice and watching little mermaid in the bed minutes before she came
-pulling my braids and saying the f word at beau because "you did this to me"
-my flannel wal mart pjs
-those blue sox around my swollen ancles
on a lighter note...
-her little face
-nursing her and rocking her to enya
-that delish tart from the hospital...i dig hospital food
-not letting beau watch forest gump because "it was bad"-and we need to be good for the baby:)
-being absolutely and positively in love
with my little bundle and those lil poops
-not second guessing her name, she was arden betty the first moment i saw her
-the EMOTIONS!! was a bawl baby, and weird,and paraniod...baby blues,poast pardum, you name it i had it
-setting up our christmas tree, crying at stupid songs on the radio like...the rembrants "anywhere you go i'll follow you down"-i was
pathetic:)
-the weirdo nurse that i swear was an escapee from a nut house posing as a nurse
-the roses from my family
-beau gave me heavenly purfume and because of the baby and skin to skin contact i wore it six months later
-telling beau to "slow down" on the freeway even though he was going 45mph
I REMEMBER ALL THIS AND MORE LIKE IT WAS A WEEK AGO, IT WAS HARD BUT I WOULDNT TAKE IT BACK FOR A SECOND...I LOVE MY LITTLE LADY SO MUCH..HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY.

Yes, it was hello kitty madness....enjoy

these are my watercolors

they used to belong

to a girl called

kiola

she wrote her name on them

they were perfect when i found em

now look at them

used

loved

they are mine now

i have left my mark

kiola

you cant have them back

I LOVE MARK RYDEN
SOME PEOPLE ARE A LITTLE "FREAKED" BY HIS ART
I AM ONLY INSPIRED
I WOULD LOVE TO MEET HIM

HE IS AMAZING

dreams

i have these

dreams these bad dreams

every week

my hair is

gone

all gone

and its all my fault because i

cut it off

i have hair issues

when i was 14

my sister told me i would look

bad with long hair.

so,i kept it short for

five long years

it makes me wanna throw up

thinking about that hair.

i dont care how

raggidy this mop gets.

i will never cut it off.

sorry locks of love.its this or suicide.

IN THIS LITTLE WEEK-LOOKED OUT MY KITCHEN WINDOW (NOVEMBER)
AND SAW THIS ROSE
-DISCOVERED A NEW LIBRARY THAT IM IN LOVE WITH
-WAS NICE AS PIE TO THE MEAN LADY AT THE HELLO
KITTY STORE SHE WAS NICE BACK.....HMMMM
-RE-READING SPEAK (SUCH A GOOD BOOK)IN LOVE
-ALMOST CUT MY OWN BANGS IN A BRIEF MOMENT OF INSANITY....
-FOUND AN OLD SONG FROM AN OLD LOVE "MIX TAPE"-THAT I HAVENT HEARD IN YEARS...ONLY TO FIND I STILL LOVE MY "RAINY DAY SONG"
-ALMOST MADE BEAU GET ME PREGNANT, BUT THEN DECIDED "HMMMM MABY ILL SLEEP A LITTLE INSTEAD"
BECAUSE DAMN,THIS HOUSE IS CRAZY ENOUGH AS IT IS....... IM STILL TOYING WITH THE IDEA OF A LITTLE ONE.ITS ON THE BRAIN-"INsAnE iN tHE fReEkIn MeMbRaNe"

-beau has just made an "indian call" out out of a mini-dots (halloween candy) box and is watching fast and the furious...GaY but at least he made me some lemon zinger tea...thanks poop.
-arden just had a orange juice tantrum(because she dosnt pee enough right?) and is watching "balemtime" aka (Land before TiMe)in my bed
-and im here....JUST... TAKING IT ALL IN.

inside one of my little reds
lives
hope
love and secrets
enchantment
stary nights
and a pilot who will take you wherever you please
i created this
and it makes me happy
ever so often ill go
to pack 
and find id forgotten all about 
the little world that
lives under my bed 

little worlds exist everywhere we go.
we just dont know it sometimes.
this is one of mine

we raked some leaves

i stole a chocolate biscotti

from my moms house last night

you and i will eat it in the bathroom

its in my purse

it will be our little

SECRET

we will watch mona in our bed tonight

we do this often

arden will end up in the middle

because she always does

and all will be well

sunday i love you

ladies and gents, may i now introduce you to kevin...and her hot boyfriend "destroy" and dont forget miss kitty
(our offspring)

it was a night to remember.living in a box is hard. its hard to parent. its hard to sit or hear people talking to you.but its fun to say "i am kevin" over and over to complete strangers.

"I AM KEVIN"

"I AM KEVIN"

Oh kevin i love you

KeViN

I LOVE THESE THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY...SO I NEEDED TO SHOW YOU.

GOODNIGHT MOON FOR ARDEN AND WEIRD DINNER GIRL IN MY HALLWAY. WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR? LOVE THEM... WHAT ELSE TODAY??

 IM WORKING ON KEVIN....MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME. I WANT TO BE KEVIN EVERY DAY. I THINK I JUST MIGHT WEAR KEVIN DURING THE WEEK...OR AT LEAST TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY

so damn excited to show you kevin:)

KEVIN

KEVIN

KEVIN

KEVIN

KEVIN

THATS ALL I WANTED TO SAY.

My baby has grown
this was her last year at this time
so many changes
so smart
and sassy
and full of life
my child remembers things
that even i forget
i would have ten ardens....i would
she names all her babies
shay-lisa
jack (the artic circle flashlight she calls her sister)
stacy...sometimes she becomes  stacy..."they call me stacy"-from that ting tings song
i have to force her to eat still...hold her on my lap and beg "one more bite baby"
i am proud to say she now has enough hair to put in a pony tail on top of her little head.
i love when she says "when i was a little girl"
or "when i was in heaven"
it brings tears to my eyes
i love this little one so much, i am not me without her.

         oUR LiTtLe HaUnTeD HaLLoWeEN HoUsE....its not cute, its not sweet, its scary and full of cobwebs and...its perfect