soaking up all the beautyful sunshine before shes gone. this was our weekend. the pool,the garden,and the dirt....love the dirt.

EMILY I LIKE TO RUN AWAY SOMEONE

My mind is going 100 mph tonight
listening to the pixiesgoing 80 on i15 at midnight
I CANT STAY IN THAT BED
my mind wont let me
i have so many fears that i need to let go of
so many
let go emily
let go
LET GO
just go for it
paint
read
sing
dance naked
be yourself
if i could i'd fly to the moon
if i were a single girl id board a train and go away cross country.
the world would fly by as i watch strangers with mushdashes and funny laughs.
we'd all eat our ham and peas on the strange dinar car. i'd be the white headed girl alone in the back.I WONT TALK TO ANYONE.
BUT I'LL THINK ABOUT TALKING TO THEM.
children will think im strange and my feet will smell .
I WONT CARE
because for the moment i've let go, i've completely let go.
god will smile
he'll worry also
"what is this strange creature of mine doing in cansas,eating a day old danish,on a cross country train? she should be in utah"
AHHHHH...UTAH.
get me out just for now. just a glimpse
maby i'll go there in my dreams tonight.maby in my dreams,i'll smile at the world and the world will smile back at me. MABY
WRITTEN BY ME JAN,21,2006

I NEED THIS DREAM TONIGHT. I FEEL A LITTLE STUCK TODAY. IF ARDEN WERE A NEWBORN, I'D GRAB A RAG AND TIE HER TOO ME, AND BOARD THAT TRAIN. I NEED ADVENTURE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE NEED A CIGARETTE. THIS IS HOW I FEEL THIS SECOND.

maby im a fool for beleving you.

   

MY WATERCOLOR THEARAPY.....AND WHEN IM DONE, I FEEL BETTER.

gravy train....
this is me and my friend elle,and our gravy train(kids). we joke every time we are together about things that happen only when your a mom. and we always say "we need to write a book on the funny crazy things of motherhood" i think this is because we were both blessed with very spirited children that have given us a run for our money...um sanity.heres a few you know your a mom when.
-peed underwear, naked in carseat neighbors stare as we walk inside...with naked child
-fruit snacks in purse,stuck to carseat..stuck in my hair
-fights over the stick on the ground
-sippy cups everywhere...some of the contents within old and questionable?
-stains on YOUR clothing...boogies,chocolate, ect.
-plasic toys from mcdonalds threatining to take over the toybox...oopsie threw that one away!
popcicles....popcicles....and more popcicles
-childs shoes on wrong feet...i dont have the strength to change them again!
-toothpaist that might as well be sugar...because "magic" tinkerbell toothpaist is useless.
-grocery store tantrums, mine stands up in the cart, then i look like an abuser and heartless for sternly saying "no candy this time arden"
-a baby story, lets face it moms, we watch it, we get sappy, i like to run on the treadmill for the ladies in labor. when they scream from a contraction i find myself breathing deeply for them.
-god bless pesant tops and the roomyness....hello?
milk milk milk...for me it was nurney (boob) forever, other moms find themselves buying gallon upon gallon of it....eewwwww. milk.
-gymboree....swoon...love it.
-the carseat, right now mine looks like a homeless kids.
-stuff you'll find in it, my fave, was an old chicken nugget in my friends.made me feel better about the m&ms my friends nefu found and ate in ours! yummy old car food rocks!
-a-b-c-d-r-f-g thats the alphabet toddler style!
-swears...oops mine said shit, and guess what i ignored it, and havent heard it scnce.
-freekin disney channel...kile ann? yeah arden loves this. yogabba gabba, toot and puddle,gangs all here!
-those random days at the park,meeting mommies, looking eachother up and down. coveting their patience,and kids shoes. other times being the mom coveted...."oh im so patient little joey is such a good boy"-please lady get freeking reeeeel.
-pregnancy talks, yup we all do it"when i was in labor"or "i never puked once"-sereously lady? this is how we bond ladies! these talks are universal,every mom has this in common.
-penut butta and jelly.
-poop,everywhere...when it falls out of the diaper,or underoos your about to shake into the potty.
-deluting juice with water...as if mine needs more sugar. its a give in.
-strollers-"hers is nicer then mine,whats this brown crap on the shade?"-guess i'd better grab the umbrella stroller.
-goldfish cackers,enough said
-the stupid songs,yup you know em,i know em.it pisses me off when moms pretend they dont know them. its freekin part of child hood hoochies dont deprive your kid!!"hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog"
-bed time...give me some 7pm bed time and im on top of the world!!!
-soaps...johnson &johnson? baby magic? organic? so many choices... very imporntant choices may i add
-the  cool sippy(maby with your kids name on it )your kids godda have it,or you feel like the boring loser mom.
  Ok so thats just a mini list off the top of my head,i know im crazy,the list could go on for hours...and ill keep it up ladies...because its funny and its true.

Honestly

So, we're in target today, doing a little shopping,when arden asks me "mommy you like hanna tanna?" and i stop....frozen and i say (honestly) "no arden mommy dos'nt like hanna tanna" and my two and a halph year old looks at me and says "why mommy" and i say "arden hanna tanna isnt a very nice girl" and then she looks around at some other mommies shopping and goes "but the uder mommies like hanna tana?" (like what the eff mom)and then i say " thats because the other mommies are crazy" (my honesty) and we leave it at that. i dont know who told my child about hanna montana, but i could kill them. we dont do hanna tana. we dont do high school musical, we just dont, give me hello kitty, ill do annything,just keep hanna tanna out of this house.

this week....

Iron and wine

went downtown and saw iron and wine play. (it was so amazingly fun) beau and i went with our buds suzzy and joel...and the entire population of slc was there. it was amazing. when he sang .....................................................

Such great heights i almost cried....and i have the entire thing locked into a video vault on my phone. some of the nasty drunks were....annoying and thats ok. what do you expect right? i almost forgot that smell...that crowd smell. sweat mixed with cigarettes and maby a little weed . i.willforeverbe a groupie teen queen wanna be bandaid and i will forever worshup the movie almost famous. oh my gosh..dont even get me going. anyway, all in all a fab night out on the town...and yes he played flightless bird american mouth...and it was perfect.

OH MY CHUCK E CHEESE.....

SO ...YUP THAT SUMS IT UP. I REMEMBER GOING TO CHUCK E CHEESE WHEN I WAS 5 OR 6 AND HAVING SOME INSANE LITTLE GIRL CALL ME A BOY OVER AND OVER...I WILL NEVER FORGET "BOY BOY BOY BOY BOY BOYBOYBOYBOYYYY" THAT HOOKER. IF I HAD A WEAPON ........ANYWAY, WE TOOK MISS ARDEN BETTY AND....SHE HAD A BLAST. HERES MY TAKE ON CHUCKY CHEESE...TERRIBLY AMAZING. FOOD=SUCKED CHUCKY HIMSELF=CREEPY AND SHORT.RIDES=CUTE AND A LITTLE BORING UNLESS YOUR TWO. ARDEN KEPT ESCAPING AND BEAU WAS getting anoyed. IJUST PILED ON THE SALAD BAR AND WATCHed ARDEN HITCH RIDES ON OTHER KIDS TOKENS....THEN I TOOK HER AND A MILLION OTHER TODDLERS ON THE MARY GO ROUND....LIKE TEN TIMES. ARDEN, PS WAS HORRIFIED OF CHUCKY.

IKEA......

BEAU FUSS WORKED OUR SALON ALL MORNING AND AFTERNOON....SO ARDEN AND I WENT ON BARGIN HUNTS AT THIS MAGNIFICENT PLACE. I NEEDED A LITTLE STOOL FOR ARDE TO WASH HER HANDS ON...DONE! BOOM...TEN BUCKS. NEEDED SOME CUTE PLACE MATS....DONE! 2 BUCKS....AND NOW FOR MY BEST FIND! A NEW DUVET COVER, SHEET, AND PILLOW CASE AT A WOPPIN $5.99 YES ITS TRUE!i I KNOW I WAS SO EXCITED! THE CUTEST LITTLE HEART COVERED RAINBOW GIRLIE COVER.(HENSE THE PIC ABOVE)I LOVE A GOOD BARGIN. WE ATE MEAT BALLS AND I SPANKED HER A FEW TIIMES,(BECAUSE SHES MISS NAUGHTY PANTS NOW) WE GIGGLED, AND WE HAD A GOOD GIRL DAY OF SHOPPING. I LOVE HAVING A LITTLE GIRL.AND I LOVE WHEN SHE FALLS ASLEEP IN THE CAR ON THE WAY HOME. CAN YOU SAY MOMMY TIME. MOMMY TIME BABY AND THATS WHATS UP.

love mason jars as vases.

here i am in my kick ass camping outfit...and a gun.everyone was scared? why lil ol me?

this was the band back in.....04...i kinda miss it.going to the bandspace and watching them practice...shows...stuff like that.

a FeW ThIngs EMiLy ThIs SECOnd.....

-feeling nostalgic about beaus old band

-i need mashed potatoes with bbq sauce and a midnight slice of penut butter cheese cake with my pal anna

-went camping with some friends....learned im scary when holding a gun. everyone was screaming?

-i need a bird and i want her to be the kind that flys in my house and poops sometimes on unwanted guests.

poop poop poop-i say this word to much

-i want an old polaroid camera for my birthday...and then i will roam the city in search for beautyfull things and homeless people to photograph.

-THINKING WAY TOO MUCH, WHATS NEW RIGHT?

_rise against swing life away.

-im a forever 21 addict...its a cheep thrill and i love it...hate the loud music in the store. when did i get so old?

_walking makes me feel stronger
-sick of rotten celebrity magazines...barf.
-not getting the mail

-ive been doing mermaid hair, two braids for an hour..then viola! mermaid emily...ps: i heart mermaids

-i drempt a spidar was walking towards me in my bed last night...

-cant get enough of italian food.i want bruschetta every second of the day...i would do bad things and lie to good people just to get this food
--going to d.i. and buying old vhs. im obsessed with moonstruck.

-im reading the strong willed child...very intense

-my child peed on a gravestone and i just held my head low.

-BEING CHEEP...I DONT GET "THOSE GIRLS"-IM JUST THRIFTY.

-got the kid off the boob...yup nursed her for almost three years!! how i did it i do not know. glad to be milk free.

-YELLED AT THIS LADY IN OLD NAVY. STANDING MY GROUND..".I LOOK 12 BUT IM 25."

-saw the time travelers wife, loved it.lotts of butts tho...too many.

-im done with bras. yes its true.

-made two delicious new meals for my family...and im damned betty crocker now.

-terrified of another child, terrified of an only child.

-wanna go fishing like nobodys business.

-HIDING HANNA MONTANA FROM ARDEN, I DONT WANT HER TO KNOW THAT PERSON EXISTS.

-love talk radio and michael savage...

-weird dreams where im stuck in the middle

-loving this cool weather...so done with the heat of this city

-love picking roses outside my kitchen window. i place little jars full of them all over my house

-i think i hate my bangs

-planning halloween cant wait!im going as marie annetwanete.and i cant spell that name.

-worry way too much...

-love going to ninth and ninth for the funny little boutiques and seventh and seventh for amazing dounuts.

-TEACHING ARDEN TO WISH ON STARS

-missing my mom

-NEED A NEW CANVAS

Arden Betty a WEEK in the life of SPOILED.

SEREOUSLY....THE HAPPYEST KID ON A PONY RIDE.

"fetch me my cloak mother"-sometines this is how i feel.

my dear friend assusena says i need to title my blog "a day in the life of a mad housewife" and when i say mad, i mean like alice in wonderland crap....crAzY mad hatter.

my child is in a phase (i hope it is just a phase) like nothing i have ever seen. the kid thinks she is queen of sheba ok....its getting ridiculous. and im pretty much set on having one freeking child. oh but then i watch a baby story and get all sappy and baby hungry. AND I GO HOME TO BEAU AND BATT MY EYELIDS AND SAY "POOKEY WHEN DO WE WANT ANOTHER BABY?" AND I DREAM OF A BELLY and small little feet and a new little nurshry and desitin and binkeys...AND A LITTLE NAME AND......... SWOLLEN BOOBS?AND THE BABY BLUES? and squeezing a freeking watermellon outta my uhoh? and being inside all the time......AND ....CHAOS?why emily why? so arden can beet the baby and burn the house down as im breastfeeding for hours and hourd on end?so i can wear the brown sweatpants for months and months on end? so i can piss my pants at the farmers market while puking? so my nose can get all big from horemones and i can yack in grocery stores while dragging arden by her ear out the door only to find shes shoplifted again....and this time we aint goin back. god bless that radio volume goin UP UP UP...nope cant hear you arden...to bad you want a tinkerbell cell phone AND YOUR OWN PONY...not gunna happen today. sereously i have mommy issues. im terrified of baby # 2. i think if i would have had "an angel baby" first i would be more open minded about this whole thing. WHEN YOUR KID CLAWS YOUR ARM BLOODY...YOU KNOW ITS BAD NEWS. WHEN YOUR KID SQUEEZES THE DOG AND SAYS SHE "HIT HER" YOU KNOW YOUR IN TROUBLE. sereously, when is this little Hitler crap gunna end??...i think i need an extra strength tylenol..that or nanny 911.

Its everything
its life its death its birth its you and me its what i thught would be but never was....its everything. i painted this in 2003. i wore a black and white shirt that still has a stain from it. that day i left the art studio and hung my art in a tattooe shop....the guys wanted a HUGE percent if the pieces sold. i was reluctant to sell anything....because of my attachment to my art. I DONT KNOW THAT I WILL EVER GET TO THAT POINT with MY ART. THE DAY I DONT HAVE ALL MY ART SLEEPING UNDER MY BED OR ON MY WALLS IS THE DAY I HAVE NOTHING....BUT A MEMORY OF ME AND A CANVAS AND HOPE ON A paintBRUSH.

MY LITTLE GARDEN........

This year, i did something new...i planted a garden. i began in may with a little miniture green house,and i stuffed anything under the sun in those little pods. tomatoes, cucumbers,baby carrots, cilantro, peas, watermellon,and strawberries and my favorite pumpkins!!!!

and to my suprise...it all grew, from little itty bitty seeds. its so nice to go out and just pick a cucumber and slice it up, rather then go to a store. its very rewarding! i know i sound like a child, and thats ok. i think the best part of it has been tending it. getting all muddy, pullin weeds, doing things i saw my mother do my entire life. its funny, because as ive grown older, i slowly see myself turning into my mom. gardening,antiques, things i turned my nose up at when i was young. i love love love it.

ASLEEP JUST ME AND MY THOUGHTS

painted this in 2004. i used acrilic and saltine cracker i found in my art box.

one little week...

my pretty brown beach dress and my favorite store

plane rides scare me especially when your sick in the bathroom and theres turbulance

no beach town better then laguna

beau the rose

our bycicles in newport beach

i miss the pink basket

paradice cove

loved this weird little shop

For me there is no place i'd rather be then the ocean. i am a mermaid ....BUT SHHHH...dont tell anyone. i dont want beau and i to end up in a tank like tom hanks and daryl hanna on splash. we went for a week, and just did whatever we wanted. midnight donut shops....absolutely. thats one of my favorite things about california, the weird donut shops open at all hours. we took naps on the beach...and just relaxed. ate delicious food at strange local places and slept in. wanna watch the river wild in bed till 11am? no problem, we are on vacation....might as well. drove down pch and just took it all in....sereously people who live near the coast take it for granted! we were at a diffrent beach every single day. we got beach crusers and rode down the board walk, went to malibu and ate over priced burgers and frys with our feet dipped in the sand and our hands on the tabletop. (love paradice cove) walked down the busy streets of the santa monica promenade with sand in my hair and looked for worthless celebrities to gawk at. wandered through strange beach shops and smelled all the little soaps. lived in my swiming suit all week long. and just enjoyed being with my honey and having time away to do nothing. i missed arden betty every second i was there, but i tried ro relax knowing she was safe with grandma. the best part of comming home was having her look up to the doorway when we arrived, and run to me with tears in her eyes. i was glad she missed us. now were back in our own little house, with our little barky dogs, sleeping in our own little bed, and i godda say, i missed this place and im glad were home.

thank you

I took this photo in a bathroom stall in santa monica. i want to thank whomever wrote this. you just never know whos gunna brighten your day.

THe MoRnERs

A cold winters day. no one said a word. a life wasted. a sad death. the mourners strange unfamiliar folks. i bought you a red tie and they buried you in it.

pLACes uNKnoWN AND FAr AWaY.........

pAINTED THIS MESS TWO YEARS AGO. WORKED AT OLIVE GARDEN....HATED EVERY SECOND OF IT....DREMPT OF FAR AWAY PLACES.....I LOVE THIS ENTRY.

music to my ears

i think i just ate a damn rotten carrot......but that my friends is not why im writing on this wednsday. sereously whos idea was it to put a d in wednsday??
sooo im feeling a blog...about Rilo Kiley....because,tomorrow im going to see Jenny Lewis for an OUTDOOR twilight concert. WORDS CANT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH THIS WOMANS LYRICS HAVE INFLUINCED ME ARTISTICALLY.

hEREs a GOoD OnE ThAT I AlWaYs EnJoY................... i do this thing where i think im real sick but i wont go to the doctor to find out about it. cuz they make you stay real still in a real small place as they chart up your insides and put them on display. theyd see all of it all of me all of it. all of the good that wont come out of me, and all the stupid lies i hide behind. its such a big mistake standin here on this frozen lake.


.The last show i saw was MAE. i was about six months pregnant. i wore my j crew newsie hat and took glares from 16 year olds who had no clue who the band even was. its safe to say embers and envelopes is one of my top 20 fav songs. id drive down the 405 in cali and make my friends listen to this song on repeat. the first time i heard this song live i had tears running down my cheeks. oh nostalgia.....
now im using puke green and i love it....i need to make a list of my fav songs for sure.....at least a top 20. MY HUSBANDS MUSIC WOULD FOR SURE BE MY # ONE....AND I DONT NEED A CD OR AN I POD FOR THAT.....I JUST PLUG EM IN AND HE SINGS FOR ME:)
LOVE MUSIC.....LOVE IT

pINkALicIoUs

<
This is our book. arden and mine that is....PINKALICIOUS. we read it, then re read it....because its amazing AND THE LITTLE GIRL TURNS PINK!!pink pink pink! what more could you ask for? im so throwing a pinkalicious party for arden:)

my garbedge disposals broken. i dont care if it gets fixed. maby part of me enjoys pouring leftover spaghetti in the toilet. so what?

olive, oh my olive

Childhood calling......

im in a hair rutt....to cut or not to cut!

it would take some time, but im willing to grow them....
love and miss these
not my fav picture, but it showcases the sweeping bangs well.
BLUNT
So the title sums it up..im stuck. i love my blunt bangs...but sometimes i feel like i only have part of my face...like i have no eyebrows or forehead. im sereous when i say its a BIG decision for me because i have messed up my hair on spur of the moment haircuts that werent thought through. and im not going to do it without being sure that im done with these bangs. im thinking if cutting them choppy and sweeping them to the side.... or growing them out.but im not so sure.
so! here are some pictures of me with blunt and with side swept....help me out guys. i need some advice:)it

blogging is stupid and catfights are funny. horror movies are bad. that sums it up

sometimes i have a hard time with blogging....its not a journal to me...how does an artist express themself on a key board? give me ink....give me a paintbrush or a crayola crayon! i see pretty blogs and think...yes, very cute...but what can you do with a pen and a slice of paper? shit thought so. i miss days when things were not so advanced? yeah, like the days before 5th graders had cell phones. and instead of google you had to look in the phone book to find the last name of the kid your crushing on. like on juno! notice they used pay phones in the hallways at school? thats because the director felt he wanted it the way it was before texting and crap.by the way face book has ruined my high school reunion. i know whos still slutty, whos not fat anymore,and how many kids the girl who stole my boyfriend in tenth grade has.barf, sereously...i miss the way things were.
ON THE FLIP SIDE!! i saw a cat fight in the pocatello wal mart two days ago! oh!! and one of the "ladies" was pregnant. that made my day for sure:)as soon as i heard "cat fight" i RAN with my cart to see the action. im sick i know i know! whatever, you'd watch too. um what else? oh i saw the movie A Haunting in Connecicut. and now i cant sleep at night anymore. what the eff was i thinking? im terrified....i woke up at three am in my old room at my moms house screaming bloddy murder. (ive been doing weird crap in my sleep these days....again) and almost ended up smashed between my mom and dad in their bed because im an effin wimp and a fradey cat (as my sister used to call me) so, just say no to horror. im done, i need ice cream like nobodys freekin business.

a picture with a history

ThE tErRIbLe TwOs

heres arden at famous daves, we had to tell her the pig was gunna come to our table if she didnt sit down and eat
heres a classic example of a tantrum..
blue ice cream,root beer popcicles, tantrums, the backyardagains surfer dude toy, m&ms, tantrums again, a new blow up "fwimming" pool and stripping naked on the front porch, waking up at 7am, my little ponies on repeat,spilling rice crispies everywhere, riding the dog, screaming at the top of your lungs...scratching and pulling hair,begging to wear my lingeree to the store because they are your fairy dresses,pouring pee pee on the bathroom floor and insisting on wiping it up,changing your clothes four times daily because of stains,throwing your doll out the car window then screaming bloddy murder,digging into potted plants and throwing the dirt on the floor,standing up in the cart at the store,climbing out and falling,calling people in my phone to breathe in it,peeing the bed, putting on my makeup,wiping with an entire roll of toilet paper, being my human blanket at night "snuggle me" the pickyness,the tears,and the giggles... all this and i'd have you ten more times if i had too. arden i love you and i love your terrible twos. but dear lord please make em go by fast...im losing my sanity:)
today i went with a friend (whos due for baby #2 any day now) to babys r us and found myself wanting to buy all the cute stuff and set up the crib, i swear the cutest baby even looked up at me with sparkley eyes and said "hi"...then i looked at arden, hanging out of the cart screaming bloddy murder for no reason, dirty face and all (precious dirty face that is)and thought: oh hell no not yet. and thats the truth.

I tHInK iM iN lOVe

yes im in love, with these dishes:) perfect for a fairy party with little cakes and tea! my dishes all ran away with the spoon, so i got these for mothers day(thanks beauie) every girldeserves a set of pink and green dishes, its only fair right? now all i need is a pink cake plate to match! just thinking about it makes me giddy.

and lets not forget the tree that lives next door! each morning i open my bathroom window to peer out and get a glance at this little beauty. pink and green, what perfect colors.if i were a little girl i'd have a picnic under this tree.

tattoos and bumblebees

sereously, zoom in on my arm in the picture above.. if you can. and when you do what will you see? a freekin homemade tattoo given to me by a third grader packin a "gel pen" like a freekin gun. heres how it all went down. were preparing to start art class when racheal, goes "miss emily can i give you a fake tattoo?" and im like "sure...how about mom in a heart on my arm"(thinking soft felt/crayola) so yeah....she procedes to slice into my arm...and im going ouch this kinda hurts..."be softer" and then when shes done and she trots away looking for another victim. im not jokeing when i say i have a scar. I HAVE A DAMN TATTOO ON MY ARM....THAT SAYS MOM FOR CRYING OUTLOUD! and its not going away. im freeking out man. i got freeking inked by an eight year old..it wouldnt be so bad, but lets say this perticular child does'nt have the best handwriting per say. so yeah...just another weird thing to add to the crazyness that is emily.
what else happened this week? oh....yeah...wienersnitzle is didgusting and i swear its given me the swine flu...i wanna ralf thinking about it...eew! um...we went to the bees game and loved it. sat infront of a bunch of drunks...who were hillarious man. downed some nachoes..and cheered on the team. arden is obsessed with the bee/scared of him? i dono...who knows! i'd be scared of a dude in a bee costume too.
thats about it for today...just pray that this freeking thing fades...i godda go smear on some neosporin:)