Thursday, November 12, 2009


inside one of my little reds
lives
hope
love and secrets
enchantment
stary nights
and a pilot who will take you wherever you please
i created this
and it makes me happy
ever so often ill go
to pack 
and find id forgotten all about 
the little world that
lives under my bed 

little worlds exist everywhere we go.
we just dont know it sometimes.
this is one of mine

Sunday, November 8, 2009







we raked some leaves
i stole a chocolate biscotti
from my moms house last night
you and i will eat it in the bathroom
its in my purse
it will be our little
SECRET
we will watch mona in our bed tonight
we do this often
arden will end up in the middle
because she always does
and all will be well
sunday i love you

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


ladies and gents, may i now introduce you to kevin...and her hot boyfriend "destroy" and dont forget miss kitty
(our offspring)
it was a night to remember.living in a box is hard. its hard to parent. its hard to sit or hear people talking to you.but its fun to say "i am kevin" over and over to complete strangers.
"I AM KEVIN"
"I AM KEVIN"
Oh kevin i love you

Thursday, October 29, 2009

KeViN

I LOVE THESE THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY...SO I NEEDED TO SHOW YOU.
GOODNIGHT MOON FOR ARDEN AND WEIRD DINNER GIRL IN MY HALLWAY. WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR? LOVE THEM... WHAT ELSE TODAY??

 IM WORKING ON KEVIN....MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME. I WANT TO BE KEVIN EVERY DAY. I THINK I JUST MIGHT WEAR KEVIN DURING THE WEEK...OR AT LEAST TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY
so damn excited to show you kevin:)
KEVIN
KEVIN
KEVIN
KEVIN
KEVIN
THATS ALL I WANTED TO SAY.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


My baby has grown
this was her last year at this time
so many changes
so smart
and sassy
and full of life
my child remembers things
that even i forget
i would have ten ardens....i would
she names all her babies
shay-lisa
jack (the artic circle flashlight she calls her sister)
stacy...sometimes she becomes  stacy..."they call me stacy"-from that ting tings song
i have to force her to eat still...hold her on my lap and beg "one more bite baby"
i am proud to say she now has enough hair to put in a pony tail on top of her little head.
i love when she says "when i was a little girl"
or "when i was in heaven"
it brings tears to my eyes
i love this little one so much, i am not me without her.

Friday, October 23, 2009


         oUR LiTtLe HaUnTeD HaLLoWeEN HoUsE....its not cute, its not sweet, its scary and full of cobwebs and...its perfect





Friday, October 16, 2009


DEAR BEAU THE ROSE, i drive you nuts.we fight like cats and dogs.Sometimes we want to choke eachother AND SOMETIMES ALMOST DO:)....BUT....i love you.and i know you love me too. im glad you shaved your head i love it, thank you for keeping those sexie sideburns. thankyou for pretending to love my ROTTEN cooking, and playing air guitar when i blowdry my hair. thank you for being so selfless and wonderfull and yes in your own way PERFECT. "you make me wanna be a better man"

                           xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Thursday, October 15, 2009

bOttLe RoCkEt

today i need sixteen. to light fireworks up into the sky and drink coke from glass bottles. this is emily today. 

Monday, October 12, 2009

BIG little




Dressed miss Arden for church
Dressed myself
Arden lookes at me and says "we are wearing the same dress"
and what do you know, we were...
she looks like a little doll in these pictures standing next to me.

my own little doll.


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

S.e.x cReAm


today....
Arden found a little bottle of.... hmmm......sex cream.( on my night stand) the kind that has the cooling effect, the 13.00 dollar an ounce kind, the goodstuff  if i may......and she squooze and squooze..until every last drop was out.. this stuff...is the bomb, and i refuse to trash it...so im putting it in a little travel size shampoo bottle. Is that a little bit white trashy of me? whatever... you'd do the same thing.you know you would.
now my delema is....when is the cooling effect going to wear off my hands? ardens hands??

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


love this picture...my hair is flying in wind, beau is squinting,and as usual arden betty refuses to look at the camera.
   so...whats new with us.....let me see...decked out my lil house with halloween...and im considering having my decorations year round (pictures coming soon promise)
Arden is 100% potty trained..nothing makes me happier then a little voice telling me she needs to go potty at 7am...yeay baby! it was so hard for those few wet weeks...pee was on everything!! but its so worth it in the end. Our business is doing great despite slow season,  im so getting a spray tan tomorrow and will look like i just came from the islands(god bless that fine machine) Beau thinks hes growing a bierd to be hugh jackman on wolverene...so sorry babe, not.....you are going as ragidy andy and im ragidy anne:) 



We have been having horror movie nights late after arden bettys asleep..our pals come packing flicks like sleepy hollow and sweeney todd...(amazing) next time i do a sweeney todd night im serving lil pot pies. can you tell im obsessed with halloween?? nothing is better to me...i like it more then christmas. what else?? im removing my iud...i know ick right? but sereously ive had it for three years and its making me crazy...plus im scared my lil uterus will dry out:) cute hu? but sereously...we are not planning baby #2 anytime soon.
ps: nothing like holding up your toddler in public to pee...hey its better then peed pants right?? you know your a mother when:)

Friday, October 2, 2009

HOMELESS


I KNOW, I KNOW AMAZING RIGHT? OK HERES THE STORY....OCTOBER 2006 HALLOWEEN AT THE GATEWAY. ITS A TRADITION....SO I WAS OBSESSED WITH BEING HOMELESS...AND PREGNANT.(AND PREGNANT I WAS) BEAU GOT ME A HUGE IBC ROOTBEER (FOR MY 40 OV CORCE) A FAKE CIGGY, A DISNEY ON ICE BACKPACK, A FAKE BABY,AND SUM OLD SNOWBOOTS....EXCEPT MY FEET WERE TOO SWOLLEN TO WEAR THEM.OH,AND LETS NOT FORGET MY HOMEMADE WILL WORK FOR PROZAC SIGN!! OUR FRIENDS FRIENDS WHO'D NEVER MET ME SAID "YOU LOOK BAD...LIKE REALLY BAD"-AND IM LIKE "THANKS I KNOW" WITH A BIG SMILE ON MY FACE:)

   ITS HALLOWEEN IM A MONTH FROM MY DUE DATE AND IN HOMELESS HEAVEN. OV CORCE THERE WERE YOUR TYPICAL "SLUTTY GIRLS WITH LOW SELF ESTEME WEARING  ITTY BITTY COSTUMES"SITTING NEXT TO US GOING "OMG WE LOOK SO HOT, LOOK AT THOSE FREAKS"-IN THE END A HISTORICAL  HILLARIOUS EVENT AND I CANT BELEVE I LOOKED THAT BAD. AS A RESULT I WILL BE A PRETTY FICTIONAL CHARACTER FOR HALLOWEEN YEARS TO COME.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

this man has my name on his head.....and it makes me happy....so i hung it on my wall.

Friday, September 25, 2009


 Sereously...how do you come back from this?? i watched a bunch of stupid pregnant shows late last night,beau suffered through them with me. i think i even cried at parts. whats my handle?why am i watching these? we never forget, and thats the truth...how could someone forget turning into a human watermellon?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

 Picked out two little white plates,and turned them into these.. MY LITTLE ONES HAND, THE ONLY THING I DID WAS WRITE HER NAME ON IT. I MADE SURE BEAU DIDNT HELP HER PAINT. I WANTED IT ALL HER...AND IT IS , SWEET THREE YEAR OLD ART...PERFECT.

Monday, September 21, 2009

it was a good week.got my Holga camera,(thanks beauie)  its perfect for me because i drop things. i need a bacon and eggs sticker to put on it, that or im covering it with fabric....something vintage trashy looking. painted pottery with beau and miss arden. ate italian twice because i am italian now.went shopping ALONE and loved every second of it. stayed out way to late with my girlfriends singing songs and being the only sober girls at the place. acdc,fergy....you name it it got sung. it was hillarious, and i cant wait to go back....maby. my parents came down and that was the best part....my parents: forrest+bonnie=AMAZING...how cute are they?yes i took them to my great salt lake and they loved it as much as i do.(ps: im going swiming in it this week)  All in all an amazing birthday, i look like im turning 14 in this picture dont i? i just want to freeze time....im done getting older,so done. thee end.
i loved  my cake,beau and arden made it together.it has my camera in sparkle frosting,and arden put two goldfish crackers in the middle...melt my heart

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Turned a nasty 26,getting old.Pictures comming soon.... 
                  

Monday, September 14, 2009

the great salt lake
-smells funny
-has hundreds of nats that swarm at your feet
-has mithical creatures that swim below(maby)
-is my sunday spot
-i love to drive here
-my little one beleves mermaids live here
-i try to beleve too
-is a wonderfull place to think
-and play make beleve
-and just be


in this picture i was pretending to be stranded and running from men with guns....think No country for old men..that was the idea.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

  soaking up all the beautyful sunshine before shes gone. this was our weekend. the pool,the garden,and the dirt....love the dirt.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

EMILY I LIKE TO RUN AWAY SOMEONE

My mind is going 100 mph tonight
listening to the pixiesgoing 80 on i15 at midnight
I CANT STAY IN THAT BED
my mind wont let me
i have so many fears that i need to let go of
so many
let go emily
let go
LET GO
just go for it
paint
read
sing
dance naked
be yourself
if i could i'd fly to the moon
if i were a single girl id board a train and go away cross country.
the world would fly by as i watch strangers with mushdashes and funny laughs.
we'd all eat our ham and peas on the strange dinar car. i'd be the white headed girl alone in the back.I WONT TALK TO ANYONE.
BUT I'LL THINK ABOUT TALKING TO THEM.
children will think im strange and my feet will smell .
I WONT CARE
because for the moment i've let go, i've completely let go.
god will smile
he'll worry also
"what is this strange creature of mine doing in cansas,eating a day old danish,on a cross country train? she should be in utah"
AHHHHH...UTAH.
get me out just for now. just a glimpse
maby i'll go there in my dreams tonight.maby in my dreams,i'll smile at the world and the world will smile back at me. MABY
WRITTEN BY ME JAN,21,2006

I NEED THIS DREAM TONIGHT. I FEEL A LITTLE STUCK TODAY. IF ARDEN WERE A NEWBORN, I'D GRAB A RAG AND TIE HER TOO ME, AND BOARD THAT TRAIN. I NEED ADVENTURE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE NEED A CIGARETTE. THIS IS HOW I FEEL THIS SECOND.
maby im a fool for beleving you.