irony. this is a word i will use for this journal piece. my fears of motherhood and being stuck home with only day time tv to comfort me were brought together in two seperate pages. what irrational childish fears i had. motherhood is not death i soon found out. it is the opposite really. i guess growing up i saw too many examples of women who LOST themselves during these years of babies and pregnancy. (my mother not being one of these)i suppose these fears arent abnormal tho....but how funny that i associated motherhood with death and death to me was none other then (picture this) me, 30 years old 40 pounds overweight,wearing a mickey mouse t shirt and sweats,a bucket of chicken on my lap. all around me i see piles of laundry just begging to be folded. papers and bills stacked, the baby in an old carrot stained sleeper suit with vomit down his chin. oh,and a toddler with messy pants and a fever. on tv....maury, sally, montell.....and a little court tv if you will. my husband is nowhere to be found...maby with his sexie blonde co-worker at a chilis somewhere...or a motel giving to her what he already gave me back before mickey mouse t shirts and old chicken. SO YES FOLKS, WHEN I WAS A YOUNG GIRL THIS WAS MY FEAR...MY BIGGEST FEAR. and i am proud to say i have concored my fear...my life is nothing like this.im as busy as a bee and on top of it all....but still if it was a choice between death and daytime tv....I'D CHOOSE DEATH. :)dont take this poast as me being anti mother anti homemaker....call it anti depression anti disfunction. its as simple as that.
2 comments:
I think if you are always caught up in day time tv and not doing anything else, you are not a real homemaker. And what you said would happen to you if that was all that you did.
I am glad to hear that you have over come this fear.
Love the journal entry.
Emily you are amazing!!!! I too had this same fear. I never wanted to be the woman who never has her hair or make-up done, wears sweats all the time, and her children look like they'er not takin care of. I vowed that I would never be that mom. Thank the lord I never became her. I am proud of being put together and on top of my life. I am a good mom and wife because I take time for myself. As women we somtimes sacrfice ourselves. You will never be content if you don't make your life a priorty too. So Emily thank your for your creative and bright mind. I love this peice!! Your a wonderful example of a kick A_ _ Mom!!!!
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