SEREOUSLY....THE HAPPYEST KID ON A PONY RIDE.
my dear friend assusena says i need to title my blog "a day in the life of a mad housewife" and when i say mad, i mean like alice in wonderland crap....crAzY mad hatter.
"fetch me my cloak mother"-sometines this is how i feel.
my dear friend assusena says i need to title my blog "a day in the life of a mad housewife" and when i say mad, i mean like alice in wonderland crap....crAzY mad hatter.
my child is in a phase (i hope it is just a phase) like nothing i have ever seen. the kid thinks she is queen of sheba ok....its getting ridiculous. and im pretty much set on having one freeking child. oh but then i watch a baby story and get all sappy and baby hungry. AND I GO HOME TO BEAU AND BATT MY EYELIDS AND SAY "POOKEY WHEN DO WE WANT ANOTHER BABY?" AND I DREAM OF A BELLY and small little feet and a new little nurshry and desitin and binkeys...AND A LITTLE NAME AND......... SWOLLEN BOOBS?AND THE BABY BLUES? and squeezing a freeking watermellon outta my uhoh? and being inside all the time......AND ....CHAOS?why emily why? so arden can beet the baby and burn the house down as im breastfeeding for hours and hourd on end?so i can wear the brown sweatpants for months and months on end? so i can piss my pants at the farmers market while puking? so my nose can get all big from horemones and i can yack in grocery stores while dragging arden by her ear out the door only to find shes shoplifted again....and this time we aint goin back. god bless that radio volume goin UP UP UP...nope cant hear you arden...to bad you want a tinkerbell cell phone AND YOUR OWN PONY...not gunna happen today. sereously i have mommy issues. im terrified of baby # 2. i think if i would have had "an angel baby" first i would be more open minded about this whole thing. WHEN YOUR KID CLAWS YOUR ARM BLOODY...YOU KNOW ITS BAD NEWS. WHEN YOUR KID SQUEEZES THE DOG AND SAYS SHE "HIT HER" YOU KNOW YOUR IN TROUBLE. sereously, when is this little Hitler crap gunna end??...i think i need an extra strength tylenol..that or nanny 911.
9 comments:
I cant stop laughing seriously you describe it the best. Meanwhile, Liam jumps over Noah and kicks him in the head. I throw Liam in time-out while soothing Noah. We take so much crap during the day no wonder we can be flat out rude to ppl. I'm with you Emily when is hitler crap gonna end.
Amen sister. I have never been so humilated in my life as I have been in the last 3 months. My darling special sweet amazingly goodness little snuggler has turned in to a bi-polar rollercoaster. Happy lovey, pissy wissy, shitty bitty, bratty fatty. happy lovey... an endless cycle.
Let lock them in a closet and go have a SPA day and accidently drink a fifth of VODKAAAAAAAAAA.
OH Oh Emily I feel the same way. I swear I have a bipolar child! But we have made it and she is finally learning to share sometimes! We were so terrified to have another girl for fear she was going to be just like Brooklyn. They are like night and day! Have a little faith and take the leap! If not there is always counseling!
By the way that pic of Arden with the sunglasses and the sassy attitude is absolutely adorable. I love it!!
you make me laugh! that's all i have to say.
Welcome to the two - three year old stage. It's hell!!!! We had some friends over for dinner a few night's ago and my three year old Ryan beat up on our friends little boy all night long. Trust me this time will pass. Have another baby to even things out. You need a wild little boy! I have two you wont one?
Oh Emily, you crack me up. You are so funny girl. I feel that way some times too. Kids can be brutle. They are just testing us and I mean testing us.
I am so glad to be back to blogging. I haven't blog for a month.
Love that pic of Arden. So classic.
I cant wait to have kids of my own..... ;)
fetch me my cloak mother...baha!
I can't stop grinning at your "piss your pants while puking" at the farmer's market line. That happened to me AFTER I had holds. Every time I sneezed.
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