countdown
I am due in five days. i can feel a change in him inside me. his movements have grown, and my pressure waves are stronger then ever. my nesting instinct kicked in and im feeling ready. saturday i washed all his clothes and set up his new little basanet. i remember the day i washed all of ardens clothes before she was born..holding up little onzies, smelling them and imagining the little one who would soon fit inside them. beau painted our rocker a pretty toothpaist blue and my friend is sewing a red cushon to match...it will be amazing. i have not set up  a crib yet...because im a big co-sleeper/night nursing kind of mommie. its been an adventure. i have had an amazing pregnancy,and i feel very blessed. i feel good, huge, but good. every night i waddle to the fridge and guzzle milk. for some reason....milk has been so delicious to me during this pregnancy. hopefully baby boy will drink milk after hes done nursing (arden refuses milk...she was too used to my breastmilk) funny thing is that in the wee morning hours i pee a million times, and just this morning i realized i look like E.T. walking to the bathroom breathing loud, wearing beaus underwear (nice hu) i was on the pot laughing at the sad sight of myself :) five am


      Hypnobabies has been my solace all of these months. arden and i take hypnobabies naps each day, and they are amazing. they clear all of my fears of childbirth. i have moments of insanity when i say to myself "no drugs em?....sereously??"and then i listen to my cds...and I REMEMBER WHY I AM DOING THIS. after im done i feel at peace, and i feel reassured that my birth plan is the right one for me. i know it s gunna hurt like hell, but i feel comfort in knowing my baby will have a peacefull spiritual birth.
   I think we know his name....but nothing is for sure. i need to see his little face and hold him in my arms first. then, we will know...sorry i wont say yet!
    Today i feel good. i feel ready. i woke up and took a long bath and did my hypnobabies surrounded in bubbles and a beautifull baby bellie :) arden slept longer today because of the track playing in the bathroom beside her room. i think i might go buy a sling...or look at fabric to make my own. for sure just spend so much time with my little girl before crazy newborn life sets in! she starts ballet tonight, so that will be something fun for to do. beau and i took her to park city last night and bought her more clothes then we ever had. she deserves it. right now, big changes are comming in her little world. she is watching hello kitty in her new zebra jammies, and my heart is a little bit sad..because i know that this is an end of an era in our life. me and my bestfriends used to quote Hope floats and say "beginnings are scary, endings are sad, but its whats in the middle that counts"-today this gives me much comfort.