I CUT MYSELF ON A PIECE OF YOU

This is a piece i painted about three years ago when i was pregnant with my daughter. i felt bautyfull and a little bit violent when i created this. people always ask me to describe my art...tell them what im feeling at the time i painted it. what i can tell you is that the girl with the sunlight in her eyes is me and im missing someone. the words all around are my feelings at that precice moment. " on that day the fourth of july burns in her mind, she sings in her sleep and hides in her dreams" this is only a small part i'll let you figure out the rest on your own.

eMily eleiZaBETH sOmEoNe. tHiS iS tHe nEw nAme oF mY bLoG. ThIS Is MY cOnFUsIoN. Im EmILy Yes.....eLiZaBeTh fOr SUre. FoRmERlY wILcOX mArRiEd To A ShAFfER BuT nEvEr ChAnGED mY nAmE. So NoW iM sTUcK. WhO am I??? tHis iS tHe qUeStIoN?? CaN SoMeOnE pLeASe hElP Me? I NoW dEClArE My SeLf EMilY elIzAbEtH sOmEOnE. ThiS is mY nAmE No qUeSTIoNs aSkED.

for your eating disorder convienience.

ThIS LITTLE BEAUTY WAS MADE FOR ONE OF MY BESTEST FRIENDS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD....SHE CONFIDED IN ME ABOUT AN EATING DISORDER...SO I PAINTED THIS FOR HER. SEREOUSLY THO WHO HASENT TRIED IT OUT FOR SIZE? THE THING ABOUT EATING DISORDERS IS THAT THEY ARE NOT FOR THE WEAK...TRUST ME. ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES WAS IN A BOOK ABOUT A GIRL WHO LIVED ALONE IN THE DORMS FOR A SUMMER AND LIVED OFF OF ONE BAG OF ORANGES...SHE THEN PAINTED HERSELF IN THE NUDE TO SEE THE CHANGE. STARVATION ARTISTS AMAZE ME. I COULD NEVER DO IT. BUT TO MY DEAR FRIEND I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE YOU ARE PERFECT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU.

rockin the little red

A few of my closest friends may know that im a vintage suitcase freek. RED, IT MUST BE RED. my first suitcase was given to me by my dear friend gifford. we were in long beach california in the summer of 03 and he talked me into getting married in vegas. so, for my wedding gift, i chose a red suitcase in a vintage shop on cherry street. we didnt get married no, because i chickened out....but we did have some crazy fun sporting diapers and walking the strip! (i will blog about that when i can scan the pics into my computer, a visual is a must on that one)

so from then on out i have toted the reds. i get them everywhere and i love them. i design the insides so magnificently....you would love them....and i need to start selling them. i started beau on them as soon as we started going out. only he is brown and im red. for his 23rd birthday i gave him a small brown beauty with a MELLINCOLLIN sticker on the outside and a jungle book sticker on the inside. mine has an ATARIS* sticker that i got from a show forever ago!! (but i still do and always will love the ataris) anyway, my new amazing friend becky rockwood is such a gem! she took these pictures of me in her studio....and im in love with them. they were hillarious to take, because lets face it im no model, but man i love em! thanks beck your a babe!:)visit her at littlemischefstudios.com

burn baby burn

las vegas................
im like "bobby pretend to kiss beau!!!"

me and the georgous leah and poop face chris angel

the luxor is bombdiggity and its my house now, this is half of the room we stayed in.

this is my dollar slot machine.....leah was losing patience with me because i only bet one penny at a time. not much of a risk taker folks.

i look like a fat moron in this one but its still cute:)

happy valentines day beau the rose

kiss......like the toungue?

beaufuss and the bobster

in the elavator at hard rock

pink man

slots are stupid and they take your two dollars that you could have gotten two red boxes with

the luxors bed me and all my candy

my deliciousnessssssssssss

bobby and the hot woman

the fancy pants place....boa.

here i look like elane in the episode where they get lost in the parking lot. "these fish are dying"

this was the view from our window....

im gunna go ahead and title this rant burn baby burn................. because one day viva las vegas will do just that. for valentines day beau and i went with our pals bobby and leah to vegas and it was damn amazing. it was the only the second time i have left miss ardee b for a few nights so i pretty much had to drug myself to sleep before bed every night or else id be tossing and turning without her. thank you god for nyquill. so um ok..............it was amazing and fun and perfect. good ole bobby worked his charm with the front desk at the luxor and got us sweets up top (by mr. chris angels room) first thing i did was jump on the beds and then play rich girl. funny thing about this room was that it had a huge glass window that was TINTED (and covered the entire wall) we totalt walked around naked and just hung out thinking no one could possibly see us......like people do right? yeah wrong.....so when we are in the car going to dinner we look up at the hotel and see the rooms all lit up and pretty.....and we notice THAT YOU CAN SEE IN EVERY SINGLE ROOM! so yes folks the entire population of vegas saw our butts.

We stayed out till 3am on valentines day. i havent done that in forever! beau was and still is addicted to roulette. he wone 30 big dollars yo!! im not big on gambeling so i did one slot....and bet a penny each time. i sereously thought i was gunna win big. yeah, im delusional because i lost a big woppin two bucks!! booya! whenever id go up a cent id say " my life is changing leah...i just know it things are changing" the casinos are filled with smoke and boobs. sereously its like babilon. i just kept thinking of the tower in lehis dream. the big and spacious building. vegas will burn and when it does its gunna burn hard.

i wore heels and i dont do this much..... so uptop is a picture of my feet falling off after walking a million miles. we ate at sexie overpriced posh restaurants....and i cringed at the prices. sereously who do these people think they are?

the last night beauie and i stayed in hard rock hotel. (so many memories at this place) i recal me at 19, sober and kissing any stranger i wanted in this place. our place. we ate chocolates in the huge bed and watched rob and big. HEAVEN. beau wanted to go gamble again.....but instead we opted for hard rock cafe and miss BIG DEB for out watrece. big deb is one scary biotch. sereously guys we left her a big tip only because we were scared to ask for change. after this we went to hes just not into you and i picked a fight with beau in the car. (because this movie made me hate ALL STUPID MEN) my poor hubby was like "what did i do?" nothin babe you just have a weener.

on our drive home we listened to a.f.i and screamed our little hearts out. this band is one from both our pasts and was nice to bring back. i need to listen to more of my "old music" the weird old building is one i took on the freeway because it was so pretty.( i love abandoned houses)

it was the best "balemtimes" day ive had in forever. oh wait except for the one when we took arden in her car seat to sizzler and watched john tucker must die instead of doing it because i didnt want to get pregnant again. yeah right, it was amazing. all except for the butts everywhere.

1. 
   
   
   

   highlights of the trip................................
   

   seeing carrot top and screaming at him "hey thats carrot top" and beau goin "wassup man" he was a pretty nice guy, and i feel bad for saying his plastic surgery was botched. your beautifull mister carrot!!
   
   
   
   
2. 
   
   fererra rochera chocolates...... in the pyramid shape box and the hotel that is a pyramid.....eating a pyramid in a pyramid.
   
   
   
3. 
   
   my new purse because its pretty and its was fifty percent off homies!!
   
   
   
4. 
   
   standing by rilo kileys guitar .....liz phairs album from likr 95?
   
   
   
5. 
   
   bobby pinching the maniquins pasties and getting in trouble by the lady.
   
   
   
6. 
   
   our car game "take a day away to play gay and eat chocolate....beaus....rainbow.........wet......green trees in yo mammas fridgadare-only 4 people will understand this.
   
   
   
7. 
   
   eating whatever the crap i wanted
   
   
   
8. 
   
   sleeping in
   
   
   
9. 
   
   the huge tub
   
   
   
10. 
    
    the green velvet chair
    
    
    
11. 
    
    not having a care in the world..........................
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

"I am absolutely not big. I am still really quite small"

this ones all about little miss arden betty. its amazing to me how much growing our little lady has done in just a few weeks. she is talking up a storm, and not only that...shes so funny! i cant even beleve some of the things shes doing....heres a few.

so yesterday we are getting ready to go out shopping and she insists on wearing her pink tu-tu. im big on letting her express herself and have fun with what shes wearing, so i let her. so out she went....tu-tu, pink tights and snow boots (it was hot) so we're in wal mart and this cute little old lady comes up to us to pinch ardens cheeks and tell her how pretty she is. im smiling and saying thank you, when arden raises her finger and tells the lady " i have a boogie" and what do you know, she has the hugest lime green split pea soup colered curly booger on the tip of her finger!! i could have died! not only was she wearing a halloween costume, but she got ketchup on it from lunch and she looked like tinkerbell who just crawled out of a dumpster. lucky for us the sweet lady handed me a tissue. we were out of there in a heart beat...only the lady gave us wal mart stickers so my dumpster baby had yellow smiley faces all over her to complete the look. the one on the tip of her nose stayed there even as i took the little sleepy head out of the car and in her bed.

next, last night we went to dinner and an old man with a long grayish white beard sat behind us. we were almost finised with dinner when the man excused himself to the bathroom, and arden said "wheres my santa?" and im puzzled, going "what do you mean baby?" i looked over at beau and his eyes are the size of golf balls. "she thinks that man is santa" he says. when we got up to walk out she pointed at him and said "thats my santa" over and over. i wanted to tell him what she ment but didnt want to offend. it was hillarious! here are a few more arden bettys finest.

1. says our dog ( the sweetest dog ever ) hits her "care bear hit me mommy"

2. will only eat orange popcicles and orange gummy vitamins

3.says "my tummy hurts" for attention

4.sings ond mc donald through all the isles at the grocery store

5.when you ask her when she was born she says "bemer" for november

6. does the pee pee dance after she pes on the big girl potty

7.says "daddy workt?" when beaus gone

8.loves to dance iron and wine flightless bird is our song.

8. dances like a chicken

9. has to have "aiel bubbles" ariel bubbles for every bath

10.smeared my premodial cream (like 40 bucks a jar) all over the potty. lucky for me it was a gift from my sister.

11.says "promise" when shes really sereous about something

12. as soon as we arrive at a shoe store she wrips her shoes off and begins trying on the display shoes. she almost got us kicked out of dillards last week.

13.has a brooklin accent example: mine=muyne, , water=woder,bottle=boddle, mom=moum

14.says i love you so sweetly

15.has one litle mischevious curl on top of her head

16. loves root beeeeeer

17.colors on walls, rugs, even herself

18.holds a pencil like a pro

19. loves to have her "finganales" painted, toenails are fingernails too.

20. when asked if shes a baby or a big girl she always replies "im a baby"

21. loves to paint with watercolors....when she wakes up in the morning she says "im paintin"

DEAR ARDEN BETTY YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE. I LOVE YOUR NAUGHTYNESS AND YOUR LITTLE CROOKED GRIN. I LOVE YOUR SWEET GIGGLE. I LOVE WHEN YOU FLOOD THE BATHROOM AND DUMP BEANS OUT ON THE NEW CARPET. I LOVE YOUR SQUEEKY SHOES AND YOUR POLKA DOTS. I LOVE YOUR POOPIES AND YOUR MESSES. I LOVE YOUR BOOGIES AND YOUR TOYS SCATTERED ALL OVER THE PLACE. I LOVE WATCHING TINKERBELL AT 6 AM WITH YOU. THANK YOU FOR BEING MOMMIES BABY.

purses and bellie dancers

this is me right before i flashed an entire restaurant. one second more and the moment would have been captured forever.

i need a new purse. so after looking everywhere i atually googled "purses that dont suck" or "interesting purses" then realised that suck is a bad word to tipe on this internet thing. so far ive been to a million stores, and im not impressed. i dont need some freek nasty bag with bling on it and a silver poodle. juicy hu? more like made in china by barefooted dirty faced orphens. those purses belong on music videos held by girls named baby girl or baby phat. oh lets not forget the "mom bags" either ......how do you say dried up like a prune? and im not talking about the big bulky ones either, storage is good every mom will agree...im talking about those diaper bags the ones that have winnie the pooh and other characters ment for small children...NOT GROWN WOMEN. i dont understand these people. when you buy a bag like this dont even bother to get ready for the day, you bag says it all it says"dear world i no longer care and i watch winnie the pooh all day long in my pjs"i feel like creating my own purse. IS THERE ANYTHING DECENT AND NOT LAME OUT THERE? ARE YOU THERE GOD ITS ME EMILY" oh wait thats margret. so jeez what else can i rant about? oh i know, i g- flashed about 15 or so people at my friends birthday party this past weekend. yeah not cute, not for a second was this cute. so we are at the cedars of lebinon??? yeah, this amazing little place downtown. jacob from twilight was our server and yes there were bellie dancers. we ate lamb and all this weird lebinese crap ( that was amazing by the way) well, the bellie dancer lets us join in and dance for the entire restaurant. and the heat is on, were dancing, and being "sexie" yeah thats when i took it a bit far and did a little twurl. ......and the entire place saw my silky garmet goodness with a getto booty in tow. thats the second i died. i dont like to be seen naked. i dont like being exposed. i shrugged it off, but relly i was shuddering inside. to me there is nothing worse.

in closing i just want to say that every purse desiner in this universe sucks,but tonight im going to go searching again. maby somewhere there is a little diamond in the rough waiting for me to ruin and spill crackers all over inside because thats what i do. never lend me a purse.

som crazy emily journal art for your viewing pleasure.

heres a good one....so....yes its weird. thats the point!!! being cut open is weird guys. i painted this little sweet thing on the day i found out about c cections. my friend carly best explaned them to me by having me lie on the floor. then she shook my little pregnant body. it was accurate...id say. thanks carly. ( jess if your reading this, its for you)

take me to jail deush bag......yeah i have a problem with swearing lets be honest with ourselves ok. thie piece was made for damon my brother inlaw when he went to jail. its me....in his shoes....yup, i went once.....but thats a funny storie that i'll tell later. "what i need is a good defense cuz im feelin like a criminal" -go fiona apple.

vanity...ive always worried im consumed with things that dont matter like clothing lables and makeup...and STUPID CRAP THAT I DONT NEED. this was my little declaration to the world saying "im not going to buy into it" sadly, as women there is so much pressure to be "pretty" sereously f pretty. im gunna go roll in some mud.

so this ones about the day i threw taco soup all over our kitchen floor, it was a sunday.....a bad one....and i had no words to tell beau how mad i was at him.....so i threw a hot pot of soup on the floor. it felt good. sometimes in order to release you just godda throw something. funny thing is today i have no idea what the fight was about.

this is the day i spent 8 hours in a salon to go blonde.....it was bad....i'd ruined my long dark locks......like a trator...to be a "barby" the next week i got fired from my job....i think its cuz i didnt look italian anymore. i looked like cat pee girl.......and i felt like cat pee girl.

lets be blunt

so................i freeked out and got blunt bangs last night. its something ive wanted for a while but wimped out on when i got to the salon. ive tried them before and damn, no one could get it right! so i did it myself when i was blonde and it was....fugly. forgive me for my potty mouth, but thats the perfect word for how my hair looked. i have the tendancy to mame myself. i just cant sit still when it comes to my hair. oh and i dont have a "hair girl" as you utah chicks call it. no, i go allover. the iranien woman who cut my hair two summers ago tried the "blunt" bangs on me and cut them thee exact opposite way of what i asked for. she just did her thing......so i painted a picture for that experience....its called Black magic haircuts suck and they dont work(its the one up top) so guys....heres one small art piece. oh, and the one im standing behind in the picture is mine too...its called Drounding past regrets in tea and cigarettes. (dont ask)

today my hair looks like a football helmet, but im happy. i cant beleve the girl heather..... hayley...... whatever got it right!!! yeay for me...i have blunt bangs and now im cleopatra.

the arcimboldo effect

Wow its been a while, i have not blogged in a bit. much of my time has been given to my art. i just painted a new piece and i think im headed into a new era in my art. my style has changed.you know how picasso had the blue era?? yeah im sure im into something new myself. maby its a little bit happier? but dont worry, its still weird. im debateing weather or not to post any art on here or to wait for my art blog. this blog just sometimes feels like the day in day out mundanenes of life, and i hate that. ive been writing every day, and recording all my dreams. last night edward from twilight was biting me and turning me into a vampire. the night before, beau was gay and i could fly? i know right. dreams are amazing. i love looking them up in my trashy little paper back dream dictionary. the writers of this book are so full of shit, but i love it. if i think hard enough tho i can figure out my own dreams. once i piece together pieces of my day and dig into my true feelings, i will know exactley whats going on. the trouble with me and dreams is i always have a conscience even in my sleep. well, except......i smoke in most of my dreams. dream emily loves a good ciggarette. I HAVE NEVER SMOKED ANYTHING. i cant even spell cigarette right. but for some reason its what i do at night, and damn can i tell you smoking feels good:) and its addicting.

ok, enough ranting......in the real world i started teaching an art class. monday was my first day and i wass recieved well. two days a week i will teach kids to release there emotions through art. i loved every second of this class. art is my calling in life! it made me sad when they ask me if they could draw this or that. i stopped all of them and said listen up you guys "IN ART THERE ARE NO RULES" they loved this. for my first lesson i talked about GIUSEPPE ARCIMBOLDO. hes that amazing french artist who painted pictures using fruit and flowers....stuff like that. follow? i'll poast some pictures. so i had a platter of fruit for the kids to look at. some kids made junk food faces others stuck with the fuit. i drew a hamburger face, and the kids loved it.all in all it was so fun!! in the end i had each child describe what they did and why ( a mini critique if you will)and i had them applaud for eachother.and i let them eat all the fruit!! for my next class i think we will get messy. im not sure how, but i've got endless ideas and i cant wait to unleash them on the kids. i told beau im gunna be like crazy miss lippe from billy madison. you know the lady who smeares the glue all over her face and has special time? yeah thats me. crazy.

CHESTER AND POOP

something we do, we talk about our future kids names. i think most people do right? yeah im not going to say any tho because of name stealers, but i will tell you something funny. tonight beaus sitting there watching scarred. you know that crazy show that plays all the nutso skateboarders gettin hurt jumping off rales and stuff (yeah we love this show) and beau goes "what do you think of the name chester for a boy?" and im like ..................................pause.......pause.........................think..........think...........think....................and then im like "are you FREEKING kiddin me babe?" and hes all "why???" and im like..........."um chester the molester" and then were both dying of laughter. its been a strange few weeks thats for sure!!! we finally got a few gifts bought for the people who matter most! moms and dads grannies and grandpas. but so far we havent bought much else. we are so blessed! we dont need a thing! sereously, we have enough crap as it is right?? arden got spoiled on her birthday, and has way more then most kids, so were being chill this year. yes dont creme your jeans santa is comming for arden, but were not going nuts on shopping the way we have in the past. this has been such a good month for us because were not worried about things that dont matter, like stuff!! its like "oh lets get summore stuff to fill our house, we need more stuff to waist our money on" sereously my heros are the couple who lived off of 30 dollars each for a month. YOU ARE AMAZING!! if the world had more people like you it would be a better place.
K so arden just got over the worst and weirdest sickness yet! have you herd of the roatavirus? its freeking disgusting. last week we were home every single day holding a bowl for her to puke in. or changing 18 butt urine diapers a day! it felt like we had a new born again because we changed diapers all through the night for days. she refused to eat, so we forced pedia light down her throat with a syringe. that and pedialight popcicles homemade with an ice tray and straws. thank you pedialight!! if it werent for this godsend, she would have been in the hospital with an IV. on the eighth day of the sickness i changed her diaper and found a teeny tiney little log! halayleuya! i started jumping up and down screaming " yeay baby you pooped a log yeay arde!!" and she goes "a frog?ribit ribit" so cute. i'd forgotten all about the frog thing when i went to change her again and i find another quote, "good poop" (only moms will understand this) and i yell "beau she did another log" thats when my little brown eyed sweetie pie looks up and says "yeay ribit!" what an angel. all along thinking i found frogs in her diaper. love it love it. im just glad i have my baby back. tonight shes unwraped the grandparents christmas presents and is currently begging for pizza because she snubbed her dinner. its pizza or "APPLE PIE!" she begs for. weird, she has never had apple pie. ok im done, goodnight moon, brushems teeth, an nurney are calling. good night.

my man

why not make my own shrine ???

I GOT TAGGED AND ITS ALL ABOUT YOU!!

Where did you meet? Beau and i met in idaho new years eve 99 for the first time. the second was 2002 and in provo utah! he looked older and hotter then ever! finally we met again in california!! i know right? we were so ment to be:)
How long did you date before you got married? we met in october then married in july. so ten long months of just wanting eachother forever
How long have you been married? five years this july!! feels like forever.
What does he do to surprise you? he sends flowers. like on our first date anniversary, or the "happy summer" boquet. that was super cute. he likes to buy me lingeree, we are big on that.
What is your favorite feature of his? do i have to just pick one??? beau has amazing teeth, his bicuspids are so sexie, almost vampire. then theres the little freckle on his bottom lip its perfect!! all in all amazing mouth. perfect for kissin!
What is your favorite quality of his? he has soooooooooo much motivation! when he says hes going to do something he does it. hes got amazing work ethic, and is a great provider.
Does he have a nickname for you? yup, he calls me Emfuss and i call him beauies in space. or sometimes beau the rose.
What is his favorite color? um im gunna say poop brown because thats funny. he looks good in brown
What is his favorite food? hands down cafe rio pork barbicoa boritto. hes into spicy foods and puts hot sauce on everything including pizza!! its weird and cute.
Whats his favorite sport? he likes watching football but rarely does.
When and where was your first kiss? our first kiss was smokin hot!! we were in this perfect little cove standing in the sand in laguna beach. he ask first and that was sweet.
Whats your faorite thing to do as a couple? we like to go to the beach together. the ocean is our favorite place on earth!
Do you have any kids? yes, we have a little sweety pie called arden betty. she looks just like daddy. were planning number two at the moment.
Does he have any hidden talents? yesssss......but im not gunna say because thats naughty.
How old is he? 27 and cute as a button.
Who said I love you first? I proudly did. it was on his voicemail, and i was driving to see him from california. i was like "i miss you, i love you!!" it was so innocent and cute.
What is his favorite type of music. well in the words of elton john, i married a music man! he plays his own and its amazing. he likes hard core punk music, emo, and acoustic stuff.
What do you admire most about him? his ambition in life. its unreal!
Do you think he will read this? yep he'll read it, not tell me, and then he will quote me! hes silly like that.
I now tag: Jessica potter, Ellen quist rowley, elle stallings, and sars bagley!

abee stinkin bums turns two!

Dats sum good tate mamma!$

And the party starts!!

And this one!!!

I love this one

Arden and Roman

Tada!! birthday ariel arrives!!

Thas it arden wrip it open!

My little arden betty turned two years old this weekend! what an event!! i sereously cant beleve my baby is two?!! its insane. Arden fell in love with ariel from little mermaid, so this was our theme. i decided on a two teared cake with ariel adorning the top! IT WAS FUN TO MAKE AND A LITTLE BIT CHEEZY. all week she threw tantrums for "ael tate" (ariel cake) and finally she hd her ariel! we got her birthday ariel and so far shes carried her everywhere with her. she wont let her out of her sight!! the best part of the night was roman and arden eating the cake shirtless. they are so betrothed to eachother:) cutest thing! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARDEN!!