no jelly beans for emily

went into the ob office to

take my glucose tolerance test

(the test for gestational diabetes)

zzzzzzzzzzz......i know....

 my dr. said i could eat a snicker bar

(instead of the disgusting orange sugar crap) when i told her i didnt want the test

so i arrive at the lab, candy in hand....and the lab teck

says "no way lady"

and something to the tune of "WE DONT DO THAT"

so he tells me i can do special jelly beans instead

and im thinking...ok ok a handfull of lime jelly beans...

i can handle that, my baby can handle that.

boy was i freakin wrong

the nurse...lets call her big wilma, she takes me

into the hallway like a naughty school child

and informs me that i have to

eat an entire bag of jellybeans

and she has to watch me eat them

bullshit.

i gave big wilma a piece of my mind

after that i went and bought a stretchy skirt and called

my mother

and she informed me that she nor any woman in my family has had this

thankyouverryeffinmuch.

when i go to the hospital

im like jessy james

im billythefreekin kid

im the antichrist

because

i question everything

its my body

its my baby

your not getting me the second time around

this time im in control