Monday, July 12, 2010

no jelly beans for emily
went into the ob office to
take my glucose tolerance test
(the test for gestational diabetes)
zzzzzzzzzzz......i know....
 my dr. said i could eat a snicker bar
(instead of the disgusting orange sugar crap) when i told her i didnt want the test
so i arrive at the lab, candy in hand....and the lab teck
says "no way lady"
and something to the tune of "WE DONT DO THAT"
so he tells me i can do special jelly beans instead
and im thinking...ok ok a handfull of lime jelly beans...
i can handle that, my baby can handle that.
boy was i freakin wrong
the nurse...lets call her big wilma, she takes me
into the hallway like a naughty school child
and informs me that i have to
eat an entire bag of jellybeans
and she has to watch me eat them
bullshit.
i gave big wilma a piece of my mind
after that i went and bought a stretchy skirt and called
my mother
and she informed me that she nor any woman in my family has had this
thankyouverryeffinmuch.

when i go to the hospital
im like jessy james
im billythefreekin kid
im the antichrist
because
i question everything
its my body
its my baby
your not getting me the second time around
this time im in control

6 comments:

Marley Family said...

That is the funniest thing I've seen all day! Really I peed myself! Its so funny that you told big willma to stick it up her A$$;)

samnhal said...

That is AWESOME! Go you! Heck yeah it is your body and your baby and you're gonna tell them how you're gonna do things. An entire bag of jelly beans?

Kristin said...

Love it!

SO I got on here yesterday and was like "why the heck did I not get an invite to Em's shower!?"...Went out to my mailbox and saw my invite at the back. Freak! I am so sorry I missed it! Really! I am bummed!!!!! I will bring you something by soon. So excited for this little man to come and SO EXCITED to hear the birth story!

Elle Stallings said...

Emily, your one of the funniest gals I know and your an inspiration. I totally would have backed you up! Love it and love you. Keep this attitude in mind when your in that hospital with all the Nurse Nazi's trying to cut you open. We are really excited to see little man and all his glory. If you need anything let us know! I had so much fun at the shower... we kick a**!

Anna said...

you are funny :)
I would have made you eat the jelly beans.
We would have fought to the death.

But really- that is bizarre. I haven't heard of the jelly bean thing.

Carly said...

You tell em!