Saturday, April 25, 2009

Dees

A PLACE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME...
YOU CAN GET THE SENOIR CHICKEN STRIP MEAL...FOR 5 BUCKS..AND IT COMES WITH A ROLL....
A PLACE WHERE FRIENDS MEET....AND LAUGH TILL THEY HAVE TEARS RUNNING DOWN THEIR CHEEKS...
WHERE YOU ORDER ANYTHING YOU WANT ON THE MENU BECAUSE...ITS DEES! OH YES BABY...GIMME SOME DEES AND A SIDE OF HEART BURN. HERES WHAT WAS ON LAST NIGHTS MENU...HOT CAKES COMBO...CHEEZY BACON BURGER.....APPLE PIE AND A DISH OF ALA MODE....SPAGETTII WITH MEAT BALLS....A SIDE OF GARLIC BREAD....A SENIOR SIZED CHICKEN DINNER....AN OREO SHAKE..WITH A CHERRY ON TOP...AND THREE FREE SUCKERS. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR? WE DINE IN STYLE OK. SEREOUSLY HOMIES....DONT BOTHER ME WITH FANCY PANTS PLACES LIKE....UM I DONO....BECAUSE I HAVE DEES AND DEES HAS CLASS. WHEN IM 80 IM GOING TO DEES..HOPEFULLY LUGGING AN OXIGEN TANK...WEARING MY HAIR IN A BEEHIVE....DRINKING CUP UPON CUP OF BLACK COFFIE. AND IM GOING TO HIT PEOPLE WITH MY CANE...BUT DONT WORRY...ILL BE HAPPY BECAUSE I HAVE MY SENIOR CHICKEN DINNER....AND I CRAP MY DIAPER. (I DONT KNOW WHY I PUT THAT, BUT I LIKE IT AND IM KEEPING IT) OK GUYS....GO TO DEES YOU MAY GET DIAHREAH BUT SEREOUSLY WHO CARES? ITS WORTH THE RISK.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

A Few sMaLl thInGs tHaT doNt MaTtER a bIt




first off i'd like to dedicate this blog to the weird scandanavian woman (WHOM I TOLD OFF AT WAL MART TODAY ) i wanted to tell you that i dont feel bad for a second for letting you know how i felt. (oh the blessings of the downtown wal mart)its like "yeah lady i know your wondering if boniva is right for you, but move your freeking cart, because i know you see me standing here" im so terrible...whenever someones in my way in a store that old rap song pops into my head and i repeat it over and over in my mind "move b get out the way b get out the way" what kind of christian mother would do this i ask you? a damn froot loop! and thats what i am.
so how bout the weather eh? i know, its depressing....and you godda find things get your mind off it to......ESCAPE. oh im good at this. first off im reading this book for the a second time. THIS BOOK IS AMAZING! it takes me away to a beach and a summer day. let me warn you tho, it gets a bit hot and heavy. nope not a trashy paper back with a harlott, a naked stud,and a rose... just freeking sexie ok. beau looks over at me and goes "what the heck are you reading?" and im like "dont worry about it...go to sleep"

what else? things that dont matter.....oh i decided to put up a picture of the cup i stole from my moms house. BECAUSE UGLY CUPS NEED FRIENDS TOO. also, im proud to say that my gay beta fish sally bruce is still going strong. keep living little he/she i know you have endured endless tsunamis of fish food overflow from dear arden, but i think the worst is behind you. in closing i want to write a love letter to the spicy Mc chicken sandwitch. Dear samwitch that makes my ass big, i love you. i love your mayo...and your cheep bun. i love the way your meat probably came from 72 different chickens...MABY CATS? but please, i write you this letter to tell you to we cant keep doing this,leave me alone i beg you. summer is nearing and...your not helping me get into my skinny jeans. i still love you and i will miss our late nights after work...but honey please...your cheep. did you really think it would last? YOU DESERVE BETTER. lets face it i deserve better. much love, EmILy eLizAbEtH*
PS:I HAD TO ADD THE BOOKS NAME!! ITS THE LAST SUMMER OF YOU AND ME( READ IT LADIES)

Saturday, April 11, 2009

tHe sTuFf oF NiGHtmArEs

He seemed harmless in the beginning...
but when you got a closer look....
something was just not right....
and he leaves you screaming...and TERRIFIED...THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES...LITERALLY.
then hes gone and you never forget.
OK HONESTLY? WHAT THE EFF? WHO IN THE SWEET NAME OF EASTER PICKED THIS COSTUME? AFTER ALL THE CREATIVE, BEAUTYFULL, STORYBOOK WORDS I USED TO DESCRIBE THE EASTER BUNNY TO MY CHILD...AND ARDEN SEES THIS!SHE NOW HATES THE EASTER BUNNY. THANKS WHEELER FARM STAFF FOR OPTING FOR THE "GOOD COSTUME" WHAT DID THIS LITTLE BEAUTY SETCHA BACK? 10 BUCKS...AND MABY AN OLD PACKAGE OF HOT DOGS?? ARDEN HAS GOT TO THINK WE ARE CRAZY NOW,BECAUSE THE POUR KID THINKS THAT THIS FREEK(YES I SAID FREEK) WILL BE VISITING OUR HOUSE TONIGHT!SORRY HOMEY, NO CARROTS FOR YOU....JUST SO YOU KNOW I HAVE A GUN and i will shoot you in the face:) HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO? IF YOU HAVE YOU WONT ASK WHY IM WONDERING. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU SAW THIS THING STANDING AT THE END OF YOUR BED? HA! FREEKY. WELL....HAPPY EASTER...AND MANY YEARS OF THEARAPY:)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

the beach house


SO WE BOUGHT IT!! yeah thats right we bought The Beach House tanning salon. i know crazy right? blame it on my amazingly ambitious husband ok....sereously he never stops. beaus mind just ticks and ticks. things have been crazy, fun, confusing, and well....new.yeah, its a new era in our little life together. sereously when im running the place people are shocked to see that the crazy, chatty, small "little girl" is the owner. they just dont expect it, its funnyto see the looks on their faces when they ask who owns the place:)
for those of you who want a little color before summer....come check us out! its adoreable, and our beds are to die for SMOKIN HOT...all ultra ruva so nope...we wont burn ya:) well just give you a little glow. so far ive only been a few times...and im feeling much more ALIVE! im brown in the summer and vampire white in the winter. i dont know what it is, i just feel so much prettyer when i have a little glow in my cheeks. AND TAN TOES ARE A MUST! give me brown little feet with candy colored toe nails, and a pair of flops...thats all i need and im ready for summer, and i know its gunna be a good one:)