Thursday, April 16, 2009

A Few sMaLl thInGs tHaT doNt MaTtER a bIt

first off i'd like to dedicate this blog to the weird scandanavian woman (WHOM I TOLD OFF AT WAL MART TODAY ) i wanted to tell you that i dont feel bad for a second for letting you know how i felt. (oh the blessings of the downtown wal mart)its like "yeah lady i know your wondering if boniva is right for you, but move your freeking cart, because i know you see me standing here" im so terrible...whenever someones in my way in a store that old rap song pops into my head and i repeat it over and over in my mind "move b get out the way b get out the way" what kind of christian mother would do this i ask you? a damn froot loop! and thats what i am.
so how bout the weather eh? i know, its depressing....and you godda find things get your mind off it to......ESCAPE. oh im good at this. first off im reading this book for the a second time. THIS BOOK IS AMAZING! it takes me away to a beach and a summer day. let me warn you tho, it gets a bit hot and heavy. nope not a trashy paper back with a harlott, a naked stud,and a rose... just freeking sexie ok. beau looks over at me and goes "what the heck are you reading?" and im like "dont worry about it...go to sleep"

what else? things that dont matter.....oh i decided to put up a picture of the cup i stole from my moms house. BECAUSE UGLY CUPS NEED FRIENDS TOO. also, im proud to say that my gay beta fish sally bruce is still going strong. keep living little he/she i know you have endured endless tsunamis of fish food overflow from dear arden, but i think the worst is behind you. in closing i want to write a love letter to the spicy Mc chicken sandwitch. Dear samwitch that makes my ass big, i love you. i love your mayo...and your cheep bun. i love the way your meat probably came from 72 different chickens...MABY CATS? but please, i write you this letter to tell you to we cant keep doing this,leave me alone i beg you. summer is nearing and...your not helping me get into my skinny jeans. i still love you and i will miss our late nights after work...but honey please...your cheep. did you really think it would last? YOU DESERVE BETTER. lets face it i deserve better. much love, EmILy eLizAbEtH*


Kristin said...

Oh Emily! My favorite post yet! I was laughing so hard I have tears running down my face! Hilarious! I love my Damn Froot loop! Don't you ever change!

Got your message. I am planning on coming. Lexi just woke up and said she's not feeling well. She always says this, but this time she is kind of acting it, so let me see how the night goes. (crossing my fingers)

Jessica Potter said...

I just want to hug you. I sing that song in my head when driving in traffic. LOL We are crazy mothers!
The McChicken.. I love that its basically a chicken nugget on a bun and it makes me warm and fuzzy and tubby. Love ya!

Anna said...

Hey fruit loop!
You tell that danish woman AND that chicken sandwich to go to hell.
heart you

Elle and Jared said...

I love you. Seriously. I love you. Why haven't we hung out up here yet? By the way, I want to hear all about the tanning salon - that is so rad. Funny that we both started businesses the same week.

Heather Perry said...

Emily you are so funny. You crack me up. I love the letter to the chicken sandwitch. LOL!!!

Marley Family said...

Emily always full of suprises. McChickens are so tasty!!!!

Maren, Scott and Diesel said...

I always know when I need a pick-me-up I can read your blogs and get a good laugh!! I totally agree with the 'Move b" song... My anthem!! :]

Zumwalt said...

That book is great. I think I might read it again because the beach does sound so nice.