Tuesday, February 3, 2009

purses and bellie dancers

this is me right before i flashed an entire restaurant. one second more and the moment would have been captured forever.

i need a new purse. so after looking everywhere i atually googled "purses that dont suck" or "interesting purses" then realised that suck is a bad word to tipe on this internet thing. so far ive been to a million stores, and im not impressed. i dont need some freek nasty bag with bling on it and a silver poodle. juicy hu? more like made in china by barefooted dirty faced orphens. those purses belong on music videos held by girls named baby girl or baby phat. oh lets not forget the "mom bags" either ......how do you say dried up like a prune? and im not talking about the big bulky ones either, storage is good every mom will agree...im talking about those diaper bags the ones that have winnie the pooh and other characters ment for small children...NOT GROWN WOMEN. i dont understand these people. when you buy a bag like this dont even bother to get ready for the day, you bag says it all it says"dear world i no longer care and i watch winnie the pooh all day long in my pjs"i feel like creating my own purse. IS THERE ANYTHING DECENT AND NOT LAME OUT THERE? ARE YOU THERE GOD ITS ME EMILY" oh wait thats margret. so jeez what else can i rant about? oh i know, i g- flashed about 15 or so people at my friends birthday party this past weekend. yeah not cute, not for a second was this cute. so we are at the cedars of lebinon??? yeah, this amazing little place downtown. jacob from twilight was our server and yes there were bellie dancers. we ate lamb and all this weird lebinese crap ( that was amazing by the way) well, the bellie dancer lets us join in and dance for the entire restaurant. and the heat is on, were dancing, and being "sexie" yeah thats when i took it a bit far and did a little twurl. ......and the entire place saw my silky garmet goodness with a getto booty in tow. thats the second i died. i dont like to be seen naked. i dont like being exposed. i shrugged it off, but relly i was shuddering inside. to me there is nothing worse.

in closing i just want to say that every purse desiner in this universe sucks,but tonight im going to go searching again. maby somewhere there is a little diamond in the rough waiting for me to ruin and spill crackers all over inside because thats what i do. never lend me a purse.


Jessica Potter said...

I'll help you pick out a purse just as soon as I stop crying about how hilarous this post was.. well and the fact that I need to throw away my whinnie-the effin pooh bag. J/K you know i wouldnt be caught DEAD with that. Anyways. Lets go purse shopping!

Heather Perry said...

I can't stand the bags with characters on them. My first Diaper bag was an Eddie Bauer one and it was just green but then I realized I needed a bigger one and I just decided to get a backpack so I could have hands free.

Anna said...

Baha! I love that you flashed everyone! :) That place sounds soo fun! I wanna go!
PURSES... Did you check TJ MAXX? I have a big lovely purse from Old Navy that you could definately fit diapers and such in. They sometimes have good stuff. Good luck finding the ideal momma bag!

Becky said...

I love that jacob was your server. Did you want to kiss him??? Good luck with the purse shopping.